Happy Virgo season!
In honor of my little’s first birthday this month, I’m dedicating a blog post to answer your questions about home birth!
When I shared my natural home birth story last year (so epic), I got a lot of questions (and amazing support) pouring in. I think this is because as a society we are largely disconnected from what birth is really like! We see it on TV (Knocked Up, anyone?), and we’ve come to know it as a hyper-medicalized event, but it usually doesn’t have to be this way. Heck, I popped Koda out in our living room, by the fireside, surrounded by other pregnant women. Glorious.
Anyways, understandably a lot of questions about home birth came in, so here are my honest As to some of your burning Qs. Enjoy!
1) “Did you have a midwife?”
—Yes! A midwife is a popular option for home births. I loved having the expertise of an experienced, professional, knowledgable midwife, while enjoying the comforts of being in my own home.
2) “What position were you in when you gave birth? I’ve heard that it might be easier from a standing position.”
—-Throughout the course of labor, I pushed in many different positions! Squatting, squatting over an inflatable ball, on my knees on all fours, laying down on my side, squatting in the birth pool…I ended up giving birth on a birth stool with my legs up in the air, hunched over into a C-shape. My midwife and her assistant held my legs up while my husband sat behind me to support my back. I liked the birthing stool! My midwife placed a bucket beneath the stool so it collected blood and what not so it didn’t make a big mess like I had expected. In general, squatting and staying on all fours (doggy style) are beneficial positions and they let gravity help you out.
3) “I was told that women will need stitches down there after the pregnancy. Do midwives do that when you’re at home or do you not even need that?”
—Not all women need stitches after birth. This only happens if you incur a second, third, or fourth degree tear (or an episiotomy). First degree tears usually heal on their own. As fate would have it, I got a third degree tear and did require stitches. My midwife was able to do this at home, no problem. After we ensured baby Koda was healthy and doing well, she helped me climb into my bed and gave me a numbing shot down there before stitching away. Honestly, I didn’t even feel any of it.
On a related note, one herbal remedy that can truly help with perineal healing (whether you require stitches or not) is a postpartum sitz bath! I highly recommend this practice.
4) “I always wondered something about home births. Some moms feel free to scream and really let it out for births. Did you ever feel worried about neighbors hearing you?”
—This is something that crossed my mind before birth… but never during! Honestly it was mainly my husband who seemed a little weirded out before, wondering what the neighbors would think if they heard screaming coming from our house. I told him I’d just tell the neighbors in advance that we were planning a home birth so please don’t call the cops if you hear screaming. :) I ended up forgetting to go around and alert the neighborhood (whoops)… and you know I was lettin out some primal screams in the middle of the night (I did NOT plan on doing this, it was just a natural instinct!). But during labor it never occurred to me to possibly care about any neighbors or anything else. I asked our next door neighbor later on if she could hear anything and she said no. :)
5) “I would love to hear more about how you decided to setup your space and game plan: things you found most helpful; what options you considered but decided to forgo; what you had but didn’t need; and anything you would have liked to do retrospectively.”
Our game plan was pretty much like this. Once labor starts…
—try to sleep as much as possible (yeah right, but try… cause you need all the energy you can get! I listened to book on tape in bed and ended up taking a Benadryl to help me get a couple hours). I did my best to let my husband sleep too cause I knew I’d need him later on!
—lay low and rest up as much as possible in early labor! Little activities, movies, music. My husband kept our midwife, doula and birth photographer updated.
—when things started picking up we called our doula to come over. The three of us labored together for several hours.
—when shit really picked up we called our midwife’s assistant to come check my dilation. She then called our midwife to come (most midwives don’t come until “active labor,” because labor can sometimes last days!). She was super supportive and just a phone call away though. This is when we asked our birth photographer to come too!
--then the game plan was pretty much, try to survive and somehow enjoy the process of pushing a baby out. And somehow I totally did! It was amazing.
—after birth… enjoy the bulk of the day just us at home with our new baby :) later in the afternoon we invited the grandparents to come see us and meet baby Koda.
Setting up our birth space was fun! There were a few key elements for me.
Lighting: soft, dim lighting makes for a gentle entrance into this world and feels natural. I hung up a couple strands of fairy lights, salt lamps, and we had the fireplace going.
Music: I had a labor playlist ready to go on Spotify. I asked my husband to put it on when I got into the birth tub!
Birth alter: Since I had a covid pregnancy and wasn’t able to see most of my friends before birth, I asked them each to send me a birth bead and an object to place on my birth alter. This was just a special, sacred place to collect items that gave me feelings of love, peace, and strength. I displayed positive birth affirmations, crystals, herbs, figurines, etc. The birth alter went right next to the birth tub so I could see it.
Birth art: Since the living room was our labor room, I hung art all around that made me feel powerful! Images of strong women, waterfalls, pregnant beauties, etc. I hung these up a couple weeks in advance so I could begin to invoke those feelings leading up to birth.
Plants: we are plant people, fo sho! We brought in several gorgeous, potted plants and set them around the living room to create a jungle kind of vibe.
As for logistics in setting up my birth space… we have a partially tiled living room so it worked well to set up the birthing tup there (you could totally set it up on carpet though). We had a looong hose running from the tub down the hallway to the bathroom for filling it up. I liked setting the tub up close to the wall so it was directly under some of the powerful birth art pieces, and right next to the birth alter.
As for things we had but didn’t need… my midwife suggested a certain home birth kit to purchase in advance (from everythingbirth.com) with things like drop pads and medical supplies so we could be prepared. We didn’t end up using all of the drop pads during birth… but I absolutely used them immediately postpartum! I had a lot of after birth bleeding so it was great to have lots of pads to lay under me in bed for several days. I also had put together a “labor tote,”— a tote full of little activities, heating pad, my special prayer poncho, and things to help keep me preoccupied in early labor. I didn’t end up using most of these items— like the super cute stress reliving adult coloring book and colored pencils that I bought specifically for the occasion. While I didn’t end up using most of these things (instead I watched movies, hung out in the bath tub, and played the hand drum), I did like having them collected in one easy to access place. It made me feel more prepared and helped to calm my nerves before labor.
My midwife had also suggested purchasing a plastic mattress protector (you simply place it over your bed and then when you take it off your bed is still made and in perfect condition). This was a life saver! Or, I guess a bed saver. I think we kept it on for like five days after because I had so much after bleeding and I didn’t want to stain our fabulous bed. Since we have all white bedding, I chose to buy a set of comfortable yet inexpensive dark grey bed sheets to use after birth as well (we just made the bed with these, used the mattress cover for a few days, and then had fresh sheets underneath ready to go when we removed the protector). This was helpful. While I didn’t get too much blood on them, there was a lot of baby pee, spit up, and sweat that first month! lol It was nice to feel care-free about our bedding… and somehow the sheets didn’t get any permanent stains and to this day it still makes me happy to use them occasionally cause I remember those amazing birth and newborn days.
As for anything I would want to do retrospectively… perhaps two things…
First off, the birth tub was GLORIOUS, but I didn’t end up giving birth in there because it stalled my labor. I think this is because the water was too hot! It was like my body got too relaxed. Next time I’ll have it slightly warm, not hot.
Secondly, I got a pretty bad tear. I had learned a bit about perineal massage, a practice that may help to prevent tearing. I never made time to practice this in the few weeks before birth (you kind of have a lot going on then! I always prioritized sleep and stress management instead). Perhaps I would make more time to practice this, in case it could help prevent tearing. The flip side for me was months of pelvic floor physical therapy after birth to help me heal. I also believe that my pelvic floor was quite tight prior to pregnancy and birth, due to past trauma. Labor likes a relaxed pelvic floor! Anyways, I think practices that can help us relax down there seem like a beneficial thing.
Lastly, I would buy like a Costco-sized case of coconut water for labor and postpartum lol (the good stuff, no added sugar, of course!).
Thanks for all your questions!