Let’s talk about pregnancy spacing!
What the heck is it? Why does it matter? And most importantly, what to do if you find yourself having two or more babies close together (like me!).
“Pregnancy spacing” is a term used to describe allowing ample time in between consecutive pregnancies so that mama has time to recover. Let’s be real, pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding are all extremely taxing on the body. This stage of life is amazing but it also takes a huge toll on mothers physically (not to mention mentally and emotionally!). Therefore many cultures recommend pregnancy spacing, or allowing mama some solid time to recover and get her nutrient status back up before conceiving again. This not only benefits mama but can also lead to optimal outcomes for baby— when mama is in optimal health, baby can be at their healthiest as well.
What’s the optimal time frame for pregnancy spacing? It’s generally considered that the ideal range is to wait at least 18-24 months from the time of birth to the time of next conception.
I learned about this concept when I was postpartum with my first baby. I was feeling super exhausted and struggling with the repercussions of postpartum depletion, so this whole concept felt pretty accurate to me! The more I learned about postpartum nutrition and recovery, the more convinced I was that this whole pregnancy spacing thing is a recommended practice for a reason, and I decided this was something I wanted to follow as well.
And guess what… two weeks after baby Koda’s first birthday I found out I was pregnant again. Surprise!
Since I had recently gone through the whole postpartum experience I knew too well that I would need to take superb care of myself to make it to the other side feeling well.
And it’s not just my surprise situation! Lots of mothers choose to have multiple babies close together because it makes sense for their families’ circumstances, or simply because they want to. This is valid and beautiful! There can be lots of benefits to having children close together in age, but ideally this is not happening at the expense of the mother’s wellbeing.
While this phase of life is spectacular, it ain’t no cake walk! We must tend to the mother for our families to thrive. As mamas, this means putting our self-care first as often as possible.
So, what should you do if you find yourself having two (or more) babies close together in age? Each person’s journey will be different depending especially on how their previous pregnancy, birth and postpartum experience went.
Here are the exact steps I’m taking right now (currently halfway through my second pregnancy) to take care of myself and plan well in advance for my upcoming fourth trimester.
1) Be diligent about taking your prenatal. Healthy eating is important no matter what, and a prenatal vitamin can provide some backup for this. But it only works like that if you actually take the supplement regularly! If you need help remembering to take your prenatal supplement (or want more tips about how to make the most out of it), check out this article I wrote.
2) Choose the highest quality prenatal possible. Ideally, we are doing this no matter what! But personally I upgraded my prenatal choice for my second pregnancy. This time, I’m taking Seeking Health’s Optimal Prenatal. Talk with your midwife or doctor to make the best decision for you.
Update!— I am now in my third pregnancy and have upgraded my choice again. I now use FullWell Women’s Prenatal. It’s quite comparable to Seeking Health, but has even higher amounts of certain nutrients that are extra beneficial during pregnancy (you can also take it postpartum!). I’m such a happy customer and believer in the product that I also became an affiliate. You can find it here (and this link gets you 20% off your first order!).
3) Be on your p’s and q’s about any pre-existing conditions you have. This phase of life can sometimes exacerbate underlying issues so stay on top of things. For me, I dealt with postpartum thyroidism (which means I’m way more likely to experience thyroid problems again), so I am getting regular blood testing done to monitor my thyroid levels.
4) Consider seeing a pelvic floor specialist (especially if you experienced any pelvic floor issues with your first baby). See one during pregnancy to help keep your PF healthy, prepare for birth, and have her ready to go if you need any help postpartum. I experienced a third degree tear during my first birth, which, again, unfortunately means I’m much more likely to tear again (though it doesn’t have to be as severe as before!), so I’m dedicated to putting some work into keeping my pelvic floor strong, relaxed, and getting ready for proper pushing with baby #2.
5) Practice stress management. Motherhood can be stressful, and practicing mindfulness, gratitude, and other stress relieving practices not only make you feel better, they’re good for your health and enable you to take better care of your family.
6) Get regular exercise. It doesn’t have to be a ton and it doesn’t have to be anything crazy. But moving your body almost everyday will improve your mood, sleep, energy levels, endurance (birth is like a marathon!), body composition, and can help curb some of those common pregnancy ailments like backaches. I think daily stroller walks are the shit, and this time around I’m definitely into lots of prenatal yoga because it checks multiple boxes for me (exercise, stretching, mindfulness, breath work, strengthening pelvic floor, etc).
7) Eat a healthy diet. This is always important, but it’s seriously important in this situation! And few things pose a greater obstacle to a healthy diet than morning sickness, food aversions, exhaustion, and little to no time with a newborn around. So let’s do our best to plan ahead and to also forget the “perfect diet” idea! Instead, focus on including as many nutrient dense foods as possible into your life. Practice “crowding out;” instead of worrying about what you’re not supposed to eat, focus on all the healthy things you can eat (and enjoy eating!) and these will naturally crowd out the less healthy options.
8) Do your postpartum prep! The fourth trimester may be the most challenging time of all (and it’s a time period that’s important for your recovery), so make a plan with your partner now to discuss how you’ll move through that stage. What things can you schedule or get done in advance to help you out later on? Who do you want on your team? What expectations can shift and who will play what roles? Consider lining up helpers in advance to help ease some stress. I’m going to ask my mother and mother-in-law to make a schedule with me so I know I’ll have some help for the first few weeks when my husband goes back to work. Consider getting extra childcare for your older one if you can to help ease your transition. Look into a postpartum doula. Have a therapist, counselor, or other helper lined up to talk to if you experienced postpartum depression or anxiety before. Getting preemptive help can be comforting now and will make things smoother down the line if you want help later. Get all of your physical postpartum care ready to go too (sitz bath, padsicles, perineal spray, plenty of pads/reusable pads, extra sheets, nipple balm— all the things you know you’ll want to have available this time around!).
9) Do postpartum food prep! Proper nutrition during the fourth trimester is SO important for your recovery and vitality! Especially when having babies close together (hence the whole pregnancy spacing thing— it can take a while to replete those critical nutrients!) and since time is of the essence in our cases, definitely don’t overlook this part of your journey. If it’s your second time around then you already know there is like zero time or energy for cooking healthy foods from scratch during the fourth trimester, so have a plan in advance. No surprise here— this is why I created Postpartum Freezer Meals! You deserve to eat well after baby comes (at least part of the time!), so check out the guide if you want some help getting your freezer stocked and ready to go.
10) Practice surrender. A big part of yoga and mindfulness involves practicing the art of surrender. This is especially relevant with birth and baby raising where sometimes there can be things that are simply out of our control. For me, I have accepted that my life will need to be mainly focused around raising my babies for the next couple years and that’s just the way it is. I’m surrendering my “need” to do some other things that were on my list, and remembering that this is just a phase of life— I’m going to do my best to be present for it and enjoy the ride!
I hope these tips are useful for you and help you to have a healthy, positive pregnancy, birth, and postpartum experience! We got this, mama!
Want more self-care ideas and a printable version of my Free Healthy Pregnancy Daily Checklist?
Want support in your postpartum food prep?
Grab my ebook, Postpartum Freezer Meals to get healthy recovery meals ready to go now (for you and the whole fam!) so there’s less stress and more family snuggle time when your new baby arrives.
Lots of love to you, mama!